How the Heart Behaves
by satomobile
Summary: Sometimes love isn't enough. A breakdown of the break-up. Linzin.
1. The Confession

**(A/N: My previous fic "The Vow" is referenced in this story, so if you are into continuity please read that first. It is NOT required to understand this story however. Please enjoy!) **

* * *

The acolytes filtered out of the meditation room in a dream-like state as if lazing down a sleepy river. Tenzin watched them go with admiration. He was continually impressed by their dedication and at times like these, his students seem to be fully relaxed and at peace. All of them, that is, except for Pema. Usually, the young brunette with bright eyes was the most serene and dedicated of all, but Tenzin noticed her eyes darting around behind their lids during meditation and the way her fingers kept lightly tugging at her robes. She was distracted. He considered mentioning it, but figured everyone is allowed some leeway now and again. He would have let it go completely, if she hadn't been lingering in the archway.

This behavior wasn't completely unusual. Tenzin and his pupil tended to get caught up in conversation after meditation fairly regularly as of late. It had begun with a few simple questions about his technique and in the ensuing months had moved on to more personal topics. Pema would talk about her upbringing, her admiration for Avatar Aang and the life of Air Nomads, and the broken romance that lead her to Air Temple Island several years ago. For his part, Tenzin offered an ear without usually disclosing too much of his own backstory. She would ask personal questions occasionally, with a tentative look. He was good about skirting most of her inquiries, but found himself letting her in on his private feelings more frequently. He did feel some kind of relief in talking to her about increasingly intimate topics that he would usually keep to himself. Pema was a good listener and so serene, she seemed to be the personification of calm and understanding. However, today she radiated a nervous, uneasy energy.

"Pema."

"Master Tenz-...Tenzin," she corrected awkwardly. He told her weeks ago that they should be on a first name basis by now, given how much they knew about each other. She shifted her weight anxiously.

"Is there something on your mind, Pema?" He asked courteously. She swallowed hard and met his eyes with steely determination.

"Actually, there is."

Her body language gave Tenzin pause. There was something foreboding about the way she inhaled deeply and fixed her eyes on him.

"Tenzin, I feel like I've gotten to know you really well in the past year," she began, sounding extremely rehearsed. "I respect you so much and I've come to value your advice. Our talks have been...amazing. I don't think I've ever connected with someone as much as I have with you. I don't want to make assumptions and I know you're with- well, I just like to think you appreciate our talks as much as I do. I think you do..." her resolve was crumbling and her speech started veering off into nonsense, catching herself she looked up at him for a brief second. Suddenly realizing where this was leading, Tenzin's stomach sank. Briefly, he considered running.

"...I just need to tell you that I think I'm in love with you," she exhaled. Interpreting his stunned silence as agreement, she moved forward, letting her eyes flutter closed.

Snapping out of his shock, Tenzin reached out and clumsily gripped her wrist to stop her from getting any closer. Her eyes opened and immediately clouded over with moisture. Her cheeks reddened, embarrassment palpable.

"Pema, please don't feel bad," he pleaded reluctantly letting her wrist go.

"I'm sorry."

"Please, don't be. There is nothing wrong with being honest...but I think you'll understand..." he trailed off, letting Pema deduce the obvious. Tenzin was spoken for.

She nodded, "I just needed to get it off my chest."

"It's ok. I hope you know that I do value our talks," Tenzin wanted to say more, but somehow it wouldn't come. It was almost as if his mouth had dried up and his tongue swelled to stop him from speaking.

"I should go," she said in a small, fragile voice. It broke his heart. She was such a nice young girl, wise beyond her years, and so kind-hearted. He opened his mouth to reassure her of these things, but it snapped shut of its own accord. She took a few steps back and giving him one last solid look that must have taken all the courage she had, told him "I don't regret telling you."

He nodded and she turned away.


	2. A Willingness to Hope

Cross-legged and breathing slowly, Tenzin closed his eyes. Meditation time had ended and he was expected at his mother's home for water tribe cuisine and conversation within the hour. Dinner would have to wait, however. His spirit needed more settling than his stomach at the moment.

His brother Bumi and sister Kya had returned to the island where they grew up to help Katara prepare for her move back to the South Pole. She would be leaving to train the newly discovered Avatar in three days time. Tenzin and his siblings had spent the last week helping her pack- dividing up relics of the past, the sentimental and the valuable. His own cottage on the island was mostly boxed up and ready for a move up the road. Though he had been in charge of the running of Air Temple Island for some time, he would officially and symbolically be taking over for his mother, cemented finally by moving into the main house with Lin.

Lin.

Tenzin felt his stomach pitch and roll at the thought of her. Pema's confession rattled him, more than it should have. He tried to clear his mind of the whole situation. Inhaling slowly through the nose, releasing a measured exhale through the mouth. The repetition of this act did nothing to soothe him and he briefly thought about quitting. He couldn't focus because he didn't want to. Meditation requires the mind to relinquish control and Tenzin was afraid of where his mind would wander if he let it loose. A labyrinth of unwelcome thoughts stretched out before his minds' eye.

"Too bad your sister didn't bring her children. Its such a joy to watch you with them. You would make a wonderful father," Pema had told him earlier that week, eyes shining. Tenzin returned her smile.

"They are good kids," he replied with a small shrug. They sat in silence for a moment.

"I don't mean to pry, but are there any plans for..." Pema trailed off upon glimpsing the look in Tenzin's eye. "I'm sorry" she offered feeling as if she'd overstepped her bounds.

Tenzin sighed. He wasn't angry with her or offended by her question. It was his answer that caused the corners of his mouth to turn down.

"No, its ok. There_ were_ plans. A few years ago, I almost was a father. We lost the baby," Tenzin explained.

Pema's hand went to her mouth. "Tenzin. I am so sorry. I had no idea." He waved a hand in her direction, letting her know he wasn't bothered.

"It was a difficult thing to go through, but it happened. As for plans now- I don't know. She doesn't like to talk about it."

She, being Lin of course. She did not like to talk about it, not even a little. Each time Tenzin brought the topic up he would be cold-shouldered or blown off. Lin was 'far too busy' to talk about it, but Tenzin knew that she was really far too scared. Lin had never handled emotional traumas well. It wasn't that she flew off the handle or wallowed in despair, it was that she sealed it away as if nothing had ever happened in the first place. In these situations Tenzin usually let her go through her natural process and would be there to comfort her when her emotions inevitably bubbled up in the course of some insignificant event like a jar lid that wouldn't unscrew. This particular instance had been different though, the outburst never came. No stubborn jar lid or stubbed toe could coax a cathartic outburst from Lin Beifong.

It had been over four years.

Four years in which Tenzin had been suffering as well. He had gone through this terrible situation without anyone to talk to. His family avoided the topic, afraid of drudging up sad memories. So, he worked through it alone and waited for Lin to catch up. But each time he looked over his shoulder, she seemed to be farther away somehow.

When his father passed away, the issue of children was again at the forefront of everyone's minds. There was the continuation of the airbending race to consider, after all. Lin and Tenzin would deftly aid one another in avoiding the obvious issue which seemed to seep into all their conversations with family and friends. The only person who had the audacity to ask them outright was Lin's mother, Toph. "You going to let the whole airbending race die out or what?" was how she phrased it one evening over dinner. She and Lin didn't speak for weeks afterward. Even Toph's directness couldn't stop the curtain of silence from coming down around the issue and in the end, Lin and Tenzin languished in their feigned contentment.

It wasn't all bad however, he reminded himself as he recounted his experience to Pema. He and Lin had an unshakable connection even in the worst of times, a connection forged in the uncertainty of adolescence; in blanket forts, first kisses, in competition, in physical intimacy, and in loyal friendship. It was just this one issue that seemed to be wedged between them now, but Tenzin had to admit- it was driving deeper all the time.

"...the truth is, I would like to have children," Tenzin confessed. He looked over at Pema out of the corner of his eye, "I'm sorry. I was rambling- wasn't I?"

"No. Its perfectly alright," she had assured with a smile. "It must seem awfully daunting to think about children- given the situation. Sounds like you've almost given up hope. But there has to be a willingness to hope again if you want to move forward..." she blushed, "now I'm rambling."

A willingness to hope.

He breathed in again, recalling Pema's words. He wanted to hope again, he wanted to give that hope to Lin. Not just for a child, but hope for their relationship in general. Letting out a slow breath he meditated on a more hopeful scenario. A scenario in which he and Lin talked it over and decided to try again. He envisioned himself teaching his child airbending techniques, administering mastery tattoos as Lin looked on with motherly concern, he envisioned a family unit, happy and calm. He knew what he had to do. He would talk to her about it tonight, he would break through that armor of hers come hell or metal cable to the face. He would stand his ground and they would work it out- one way or another. He didn't want to think of the alternative.

"Dude. You have been out here forever and we are starving," Bumi's voice broke through his thoughts with a jolt. Tenzin cracked an eye open and sighed. Though his brother was technically in his forties, his maturity level seemed to have halted around age fifteen.

"Mom doesn't want to start without you, T. So, can you quit daydreaming and come eat already?" Bumi pleaded, gripping his stomach for dramatic effect.

"I wasn't daydreaming," Tenzin said gruffly, bending the air beneath his body to thrust him into an upright position. "I was meditating."

"Meh. Same thing. Where's Lin?"

"She's working late," Tenzin explained walking alongside his older brother.

"Sucks."

Tenzin nodded.


	3. The Emptiness

Thunk. Thunk.

Lin's boots being tossed aside at the front door alerted Tenzin to her presence. It was well past eleven, when she was due to arrive home from work. He was still up, sitting at the dining table trying to imagine this conversation playing out in both their favors. He had convinced himself this conversation had to happen tonight. It couldn't wait a moment longer, no matter what the outcome.

"Oh, you're awake," she observed as she came around the corner. Giving him a smile she crossed behind him to the cabinets. "Did you save me some food? I'm sorry I'm so late, but I completely forgot it was Ho-Tun's retirement party. They had food, but of course since it was Ho-Tun it was all greasy junk," she finished with a laugh.

She turned around and leaned against the counter-top, digging into the leftovers with gusto.

"Your Mom is the best cook. I don't know how we will get on without her just up the road," she said with a mouthful. He nodded half-heartedly. Lin's eyebrows knitted together, visibly questioning his silence. He wasn't quite ready to dive in, so he stalled by asking her how work went.

She pulled a face, "Awful. Sato is crawling all over us about picking out which member of the Agni Ki triads is responsible for his wife's death...but interrogating them is going nowhere. They are tight. I can tell they are lying," she said tapping her foot against the ground, "but I can't tell what specifically they are lying about." He gave her a sympathetic look. Lin took her work seriously and she didn't wear dead-ends well, they hung about her like a dark cloud painting purple half moons beneath her eyes. With a sigh, she finished her last bite tossing the container and chopsticks haphazardly into the sink.

"I'm gonna go get ready for bed," she told him in a yawn. Tenzin gave her an annoyed look.

"I guess I'll do the washing up, then?" He replied, casting a glance at offending dishes in the sink.

"Thank you, dear" she laughed him off, and dropped a quick kiss on the crown of his head as she left the room.

Defeated, he rose to clean out her dishes. This wasn't going as planned. It was so late and she'd clearly had a long day, maybe this could wait until tomorrow. He looked down the hallway at their bedroom and watched as she crossed the doorway in nothing but her bindings. She looked good. A fanciful thought crossed his mind- if they reached an agreement tonight, maybe they could get to starting that family before morning.

As he finished drying the last chopstick he felt her arms close around his waist. He glanced down at her over his shoulder. Her cheek rested against his back and she was wearing an old night shirt that signaled she was probably not thinking along the same lines as Tenzin about bedtime activities.

"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you or do I have to guess?"

He sighed and turned to face her, resting his damp arms on her shoulders. He didn't really know where to begin so, he settled on the most important part of the conversation.

"I love you."

"Oh wow. That bad?" she snarked.

"It's nothing bad," he retorted and tried to focus back on her, but found himself looking at just about anything else. "It's just... I think we need to talk about starting a family again." As he finished his sentence he felt her arms drop from his sides. He pulled his own up to allow her to take a step back, which she did. Her head dropped back with the weight of a thousand dodged conversations and she let out an aggravated groan.

"I don't really want to talk about this right now, it's late."

"When would be a good time? I'd schedule an appointment, but it seems when this subject comes up you are always fully booked!"

Lin rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. She was withdrawing, blocking herself from the situation physically and emotionally. Tenzin stood his ground. "I'm serious about this Lin. I think we have waited long enough. You always say that we don't have the time, but we can make time. We will find time."

Her face set in a frown and her eyes misted over with an old memory, "What makes you think it could even work, this time?" she asked giving the end of her question particular significance. He understood her hesitation, but continued.

"I know what happened then was...difficult-"

"Difficult?" Lin scoffed. "A math exam is difficult, Tenzin."

"I am just saying that maybe you're giving that situation too much power. It was hard for me too, but I am ready to try again. I've been ready." Even as the words left his mouth he regretted the phrasing. Lin's eyes went dark and she looked as if she would lunge at him for a moment.

"Of course you've been ready. The heart beating inside of you didn't stop in the middle of the night and bleed out. That happened to me. Don't trivialize that. You have no idea what that felt like," she spat at him bitterly.

Tenzin could feel adrenaline course through his body at her response. She habitually talked of their shared tragedy as if it were solely her own and it grated on him. He wanted to lash out at her. He had been devastated by the loss of that baby and the way Lin began to shutdown in the months that followed. His father's death the following year, sad as it was, served as a welcome distraction for the couple, who were able to focus on something else for awhile. But, even so- they always ended up right back here, suffering together and holding themselves apart. It was a pattern he feared they were doomed to repeat indefinitely. Neither of them had ever fully recovered from that event and couldn't seem to bridge the chasm that formed between them even when it was clear it was both their deepest desire to do so. He couldn't think of how to fix the situation. They were two stubborn people waiting for the other to give in first, but it was becoming clear that neither of them were going to budge. Tenzin knew it, then. When he opened his mouth, the words didn't want to budge either. The admission was lodged deep in his throat. After a pained moment he managed to croak out a declaration of defeat- they would both be losing.

"I don't think I can do this anymore," he said quietly. Lin's eyes widened.

The implication of his words hung heavy in the space between them. They stood in silence for what seemed an eternity. The idea of them no longer being 'them' was an unfathomable scenario. As long as there had been a Tenzin there had been a "Lin and Tenzin." They seemed to exist as one entity from childhood, further solidifying their singularity as they grew into a romantic relationship. They knew each other in every possible way and their lives were immeshed to reflect exactly that. Tenzin knew Lin so well, in fact, that he knew the issue of children would always be met with the same indignation on her end. What he was finally realizing about himself was that he could no longer accept it. Even if it meant the unthinkable.

"What are you saying?" Lin asked, her face having reverted back to a frown. He met her eyes briefly and then looked back at the floor.

"Tenzin...I love you," Lin said, voice hitching. He looked up at her face and she wore the expression of a wounded animal, innocent and frightened. This was the closest Lin Beifong would ever come to begging. Her right arm crossed her chest and began making slow, comforting circles against her left with her thumb. He was reminded of that sixteen year old girl in the park, the one he made silent promises to love forever, and his heart sank to see her standing before him so many years later knowing that he was letting her down.

"I love you too. But...I just don't think that's enough anymore."

"What are you...I don't..." she stumbled over her confusion. She looked as terrified as he felt. He willed himself to remain firm, they had both suffered the consequences of their indecision for too long. It was beginning to leave a sour taste.

"Lin, the way we even talk about starting a family is a sign that we aren't going in the same direction anymore. We can't even get through a conversation about what happened with the baby civilly. Someone said to me the other day, even after a tragedy like we've been through there has to be a willingness to hope again, to move fo-"

"Who said that?" Lin snapped. Tenzin could have kicked himself for slipping that bit of wisdom in.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes. It does."

"Pema, she's one of the acolytes-" Lin's eyes narrowed like a hawk zeroing in on its prey.

"I know perfectly well who she is, Tenzin," Lin cut across him venomously. He shrugged to indicate that he wasn't aware she knew the young acolyte and Lin mockingly did the same.

"What?" he asked, annoyed at her impersonation of him.

"You think it's ok to go around telling your fan club my personal business?" she shouted. He shook his head, annoyed. The situation was quickly devolving and he wanted to talk this out calmly, but Lin didn't seem ready to cool anytime soon.

"Lin..."

"Don't 'Lin' me. You think I sit around at work telling Saikhan about your problems?"

"Of course not. Its not what you think, we were just talking as friends and she-"

"Oh, friends?" Lin asked, sarcastically saccharine.

"Yes. Friends."

"Give me a break, Tenzin. That girl is infatuated with you. Don't act like you haven't noticed."

"In the interest of honesty," Tenzin began, letting his frustration get the better of him, "she has told me as much."

Lin's mouth snapped shut as if someone had pulled an invisible lever on her jaw. Her cheeks flushed red just as the rest of the color drained from her face. The pit of her stomach sank lower than he knees as she drew her conclusion.

"So that is what this is really about?" she accused, fighting to hold the rising sickness inside her throat as she spoke.

"What? No." Tenzin argued defensively. He hadn't meant to imply that at all, but in his anger allowed the dagger of traitorous thoughts to sail freely across the room at the love of his life.

"Do you..." Lin faltered, "do you have feelings for her?"

Tenzin's shoulders sagged. He didn't know what to say. Honestly, he hadn't given Pema much thought before this afternoon when her confession had propelled him down this path of uncertainty. Did he like her? Yes. She was kind and generous and dedicated. But did those qualities endear him to her in a romantic way, he didn't know. But when he pictured her easy smile, his heart did feel a bit lighter.

"I don't know," he sighed finally. Lin looked at the ground. He braced himself for her oncoming outburst, but looked up to see her turn and disappear down the hallway.

"Lin?" he called after her half-heartedly. He could hear doors slamming open and shut, the rustling of fabric, and clanging of her metal uniform coming from their bedroom. He walked in to find Lin violently packing an overnight bag. The reality of the situation began to sink in and he felt overcome with helplessness.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?"

"Lin, wait a second," he said reaching out to grab her arm. She reclaimed it with a hard pull and glared at him for daring to touch her.

"Where are you going?" he asked, defeated.

"I don't know. My mother's house? Bleak as that sounds," she muttered.

"You don't have to leave," he offered, feeling regret wash over him. Watching her take action to leave hit him square in the chest and he felt like there was no air in the room left to manipulate. This isn't what he really wanted, was it?

"I'm not staying here with you," she countered, "I don't even know who you are anymore."

Her words pierced him. In this moment, Tenzin wasn't even sure he knew himself.

"Don't say that," he replied, eyes filling with moisture.

"The Tenzin I thought I knew wouldn't be-" she dropped her words mid-sentence as she turned and caught the tears in his eyes. "Why are _you_ crying?"

"I don't want this..." he said. Lin shook her head in disbelief and hoisted her bag onto her shoulder. Without a word she walked past him and left him standing alone, the sound of the slamming front door echoing in the emptiness.


	4. A Family Affair

The repetitive rapping of knuckles against his front door startled Tenzin from his slumber. His line of sight ran straight down his tattooed arm to see that his hand was resting on the empty pillow beside him, confirming that it wasn't just a bad dream. Lin was really gone.

He rose to answer the door and made his way down the hall. At the end of the hallway a carefully packed box lay open exposing a photo of he and Lin with his siblings sitting on top of other frames- arms strewn across one another, faces adorned in carefree smiles that reflected their teenage days. He gazed at it sadly and was disarmed to see bloodshot eyes reflecting back in his youthful ones.

"Wake up, guys!" he heard his sister's muffled voice from the other side of the door. Swinging the door open he was greeted by Kya, chewing on her lip and holding up a glass figure in the shape of the national water tribe emblem.

"Do you mind if I take this?" she asked. "I figured I'd ask you first, since you and Dad made it." Tenzin inspected the delicate glass, a token of summers spent on Ember Island. He and his father would blow the sand heated by Fire Lord Zuko into various glass shapes for practice. He hadn't seen these for ages. He recalled making one, blushing with embarrassment, in the shape of a heart for Lin when he was seventeen. His father assured him it was such a good idea that he made another for Katara. Zuko grumbled and sighed at the thought of returning to the beach house empty handed and so he commissioned one glossy heart for his wife as well. The heart Tenzin made for Lin was greeted with a smirk and faux indifference, but was displayed affectionately on her nightstand until a week ago, when she'd finally packed it away. Now it lay in one of these boxes wrapped carefully in layers of tissue paper. He wondered if she would even want it anymore.

"Tenzin?" Kya reminded him, waving the figure in front of his face.

"Yeah. I don't mind. You can have it."

"Thanks. I think I'm going to take the whole set, good memories, you know?" she smiled and walked past him into the house.

"Lin! Lin, wake up! I need you to tell me I can still pull off this outfit I just dug up," she called as she walked down the hallway. Kya leaned against the doorframe and craned her neck into the bedroom, then looked back down the hallway at her brother.

"Where is Lin?" Tenzin looked down.

"She had to work overnight?" Kya assumed aghast.

"No, she left." Tenzin mumbled.

"Left?"

"Left."

"Like for work or for good?" Kya questioned.

"For good."

Kya eyed him suspiciously. "Are you messing with me?" she asked, crossing her arms. Tenzin shook his head sadly and his sister quickly closed the gap between them to envelop him into a desperately needed hug.

"Whoa. What's going on in here?" Bumi asked, physically reeling back with his hands in the air as he walked through the doorway to find his siblings sharing a tender moment. Kya looked at him over Tenzin's shoulder and quietly said, "Lin broke up with him." Tenzin withdrew, giving Kya a critical look.

"Why do you assume _she_ broke up with _me_?" Tenzin demanded, looking put out. Kya and Bumi exchanged a glance causing Tenzin's face to further distort.

"Well, I mean..." Bumi began as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, "come on- it's Lin we're talking about."

"And?"

"And... I don't know. It's just you've always been kind of obsessed with her, T." Bumi shrugged finally. Tenzin's eyes narrowed as he briefly considered throwing that same accusation back at his brother, but Kya interjected, "So what actually happened?"

Tenzin shrugged his shoulders, "We don't want the same things anymore."

Kya sighed and rubbed his arm. They all knew what those things were, Tenzin didn't have to come out and say the obvious- their debate about children had come to a head.

"Where did she go?" Kya finally asked.

"Her Mom's house, I think."

"I should go over there," Kya nodded decidedly, "that is the last place she should be alone."

* * *

It was somewhat surreal seeing it now. The house in which Kya spent some of her fondest days was not terribly changed aside from the hedges that overgrew the structure as much as the surrounding city had. In her glory days, this house stood alone on the outskirts of Republic City as solitary as its owner, Toph Beifong. Today it was surrounded by other buildings, but the classic architecture and stretching landscape provided a sense of history and autonomy. It was in this house that Kya was able to realize her most mischievous childhood schemes and live out her most rebellious teenage urges. The liberating mix of Toph's lackadaisical approach to parenting and her blindness offered plenty of space for Kya and her best friend Lin to live their young lives to the fullest. In the rare instances that Toph would enforce a rule or cut off their high spirited fun, Kya would sit awkwardly by twiddling her thumbs and watch Lin make faces and questionable hand gestures at her mother's unobservant eyes as she was being lectured. This was atypical of her time in this house, generally speaking. The girls got up to just about whatever they liked- testing their own limits as well as those of their parents and the law.

Fond memories mixed with apprehension as she walked the familiar path from the front gate to the doorway. Upon her arrival, she discovered the door was only partially closed as if the closer had other things to worry about. Kya was sure this was the case. She pushed the door open slowly, expecting to find the interior bare and packed away- Lin had been slowly packing up her mother's possessions in the year since her death- but instead discovered a home that was practically as she'd last seen it. Her next expectation was to find her friend curled up on some fluffy piece of furniture, red-faced and crying. Instead she was assaulted by the sounds of aggressive music blasting from the gramophone and Lin, clad in old nightclothes with her back to Kya, clutching an overly large painting. She reached out one hand to turn the volume knob lower, letting one side of the painting hit the stone floor without care.

"Hey, Kya" she said flatly, keeping her back to her new guest.

"Lin," Kya didn't quite know where to begin, "I thought you had this place all packed."

"I did. I guess I should have waited," she replied monotone. She gripped the painting again and held it up, never taking her eyes off of it. Lin's voice took a wistful tone as she asked, "Isn't this the ugliest painting you've ever seen?"

Kya smiled softly, the painting had hung in the entryway to the Beifong home for years. It was made up of some of the most offensive colors and imagery she'd ever laid eyes on. "Its pretty awful," she finally admitted with a small laugh.

"You know what my Mom used to say when I would tell her how ugly this was?" Lin continued, sounding rather distant.

"What?"

"'Like I give a shit.'" Lin replied with an affectionate chuckle and Kya mimicked her, both remembering Toph's self-effacing humor. Their shared laughter finally gave Lin cause to turn her head and look at Kya for the first time.

"Help me hang it?" she asked.

"Of course," Kya replied, walking down the hall to join her. Kya took one side and they placed it against the wall in tandem, resting it on two nails Lin had bent into the wall. Job done, the two women turned to one another without a word. Lin's hands went to her hips and she eyed Kya critically, "You're too old for that outfit."

"This is why I need you in my life, Lin," Kya laughed, looking down at her clothes which had been age appropriate once upon a time. Lin frowned, she looked tired. "It doesn't look like you've been crying at least," Kya offered helpfully.

"I'm too angry to cry," was Lin's retort as she shifted her gaze to the boxes left unpacked with a scowl.

"Have you slept?" Kya ventured, judging by the unpacked boxes she was beginning to doubt. Lin shook her head once.

Kya sighed, recalling the days when the roles were reversed and she would visit Lin and Tenzin's small cottage to unload her dating woes on her best girlfriend. Lin would lend an ear while lounging against the arm of the couch, wavy dark hair piled unceremoniously atop her head, sporting a well-worn sleeping tunic, feet resting in the lap of a dozing Tenzin. Lin's advice was nearly always a severe judgement against whatever man had landed Kya in her living room.

"I guess all hope is not lost if you've got a boyfriend," Kya would joke of her acidity.

Lin would laugh and shrug "Yeah, but it's Tenzin" she would say smiling conspiratorially at Kya while shooting a mischievous look at Tenzin as he began to snore.

"Heeey," he would protest groggily, not bothering to open his eyes.

"Just messing with you, baldy" Lin would reply giving his chest a playful tap with a bare foot.

"Hmm. That's what I thought," Tenzin would reply with a smile, shifting himself into a more comfortable position, drifting back to sleep as the girls continued talking.

How she had envied their easy domesticity then, but now... now she was witnessing that familiar, unwavering relationship unravel before her very eyes. Kya felt unsettled, Lin and Tenzin were as solid as her own mother and father as far as she was concerned and watching Lin actively leave Tenzin left her feeling slightly adrift, even as settled as she was in her own marriage. The relationship of two people so close to her was broken and as a healer, Kya felt she needed to repair it if she could, so she sat down on the sofa and patted the space next to her lightly beckoning Lin to join. Lin obliged, practically tossing herself beside her friend.

"Ok," Kya began tentatively, "please don't be upset with me for saying this- it's just that I know you and Tenzin love each other so much- but could you see yourself trying to have children again? I mean, just considering it again? It's so important to him, and I know what happened with the baby was awful-"

Lin's face screwed up and she balked at Kya, "Excuse me?"

Kya sighed and put her hands up as if to calm Lin, "Don't get me wrong, I understand but given Tenzin's situation as the last airbender-"

"Is that what he told you?" Lin cut her off hotly, "This isn't about children." Kya sank back into her cushion, confused. "Well, in a way it is about _a_ child," Lin mused bitterly.

"What are you talking about?" Kya finally asked, shoulders raised as high as her jawline.

"There is someone else," Lin replied stoically. This information almost garnered a laugh from his sister until she caught the seriousness in Lin's expression. Kya studied her for a moment in shock.

"Are you sure?" Kya asked incredulous. Lin nodded.

"It's one of the acolytes," Lin continued. Kya practically shot off the couch with this revelation.

"What?" she shouted, slamming her palms against the cushions causing a plume of dust to rise. Lin continued to nod. "Lin. Tenzin would _never_," Kya insisted. Lin shrugged, pressing her lips together and raising her eyebrows as if to affirm herself. Kya's mouth opened and closed a few times, trying to reconcile the image of her devoted and serious younger brother with the image of a devious philanderer that now presented itself.

Lin pushed herself off the couch and went back to unpacking her mother's things without a word. She didn't want to be forced to dwell, so she opened a box of records and began filling the empty spaces along her shelves. Kya sat still, mind reeling with a look of confusion on her face.

"Who?" she managed to ask finally.

"Pema," Lin answered, sounding almost bored.

"I don't know if I've met her," Kya returned, trying to picture an acolyte that was anywhere near Tenzin's type. It had to be someone relatively new, Kya was well acquainted with all of the acolytes that lived on the island at the same time she had.

"You've definitely seen her. She was the one that was obsessing over the kids on your last visit."

Kya thought for a moment, but could only recall a girl that was scarcely twenty taking more than a passing interest in her children. She gazed at the ceiling deep in thought for a few more moments before Lin broke her concentration.

"You're thinking of the right one, I promise," she provided with a sad smirk.

"I don't think I am. The only one I can picture is really young."

Lin pursed her lips and nodded, slamming a record into place with slightly more force than was required. "That's the one," she confirmed sharply. Another round of Kya's disbelief played itself out without a word from Lin.

"What are you going to do?" the waterbender questioned finally throwing her hands in the air.

"I called Ki. He's meeting me at the dock to help me move. Lucky my things are mostly packed I guess," Lin said casually as she unpacked the last record from the box. Kya watched her sympathetically, knowing that she must be dying inside. She always had a way of pretending not to be affected, never acknowledging her feelings. But Kya knew she couldn't put off feeling this one for very long- Tenzin was too much a part of her. "I hope your Mom doesn't mind if I don't help move her down south."

"I'm sure she'll understand, Lin." Kya replied sadly. Lin looked over at the clock and then to Kya.

"I better get going," she announced.

"Bumi and I will help you too," Kya offered. She stood and crossed the room to wrap her friend in a hug that Lin returned reluctantly.

Lin's former partner, Ki joined the two women on the ferry to Air Temple Island. When she had arrived on the dock, he gave her a sympathetic look and a clap on the shoulder. He was more than ready to offer a hand in helping her move. The two had been quite close in their days at the metal bending academy and had suffered a traumatic attack together that had left Lin with scars and set Ki behind a desk indefinitely. Lin's spirits were momentarily lifted as she remembered Tenzin's irrational jealousy toward her old friend. It didn't last long, however. As they rounded the corner she spotted Pema in the courtyard and she was brought back into reality. They locked eyes briefly and the younger woman had enough decency to look ashamed when Lin glared at her.

Finally arriving at the door to their cottage, Lin steeled herself to see Tenzin. She would not make a scene. She just wanted to remove her things before her emotions caught up to her. She let out a sigh of relief when he proved to be nowhere in sight, their home empty and silent.

"I'll go get Bumi," Kya said from behind her and hurried off in the direction of Katara's home.

Kya burst through the doors of her mother's home to find her family seated around the dining table. Tenzin's head was down, his elbows on the table. Their mother was rubbing his shoulders soothingly as Bumi sat across from them, unusually silent. They all looked up at her as she entered in an aggravated state.

"Bumi, I need you to help us move Lin's stuff. Get up," she instructed quickly before turning her attention to her youngest brother. "You're a jerk, Tenzin."

Tenzin looked baffled. Katara wasted no time in scolding her daughter for her outburst while Bumi stood, looking amused.

"I'm a jerk? What are you talking about?" Tenzin spat defensively.

"You failed to mention you had a girlfriend," Kya replied, vindicated in her anger. Katara's hands left her son's shoulders as if she'd been burned by his skin and Bumi let out a holler indicating that he was scandalized, but enjoying the show.

"Tenzin!" Katara said in disapproval, "I didn't raise you that way." Tenzin stood suddenly as if trying to extricate himself from a trap.

"I do not have a girlfriend," Tenzin protested emphatically. "Anyway- it's none of your business," he sputtered at his sister.

"Like hell it isn't! Lin is my best friend," Kya insisted from the doorway.

"And this is between me and her, not you!" Tenzin returned.

"That's enough!" Katara shouted, putting a stop to their yelling match. "Kya, Tenzin is right..." Katara began. Kya gasped, offended by her mother's words and Tenzin gave her a look full of self-satisfaction. "...it is not our business. Whatever is going on between them is between them. You don't come in here throwing accusations around, understood?"

Kya scowled at her mother as Tenzin raised his eyebrows at his sister. Katara then turned to Tenzin and administered a slap to the side of his head. "And don't you look so proud of yourself, young man. Whatever is going on may not be our business, but Lin is family. Don't let her leave without making sure she's ok first," Katara finished. Tenzin sighed.

It's not that he didn't want to make sure she was ok, he did. It was simply that he'd been sitting at this table all morning trying to assure himself that his decision was the right one. He knew it was. Deep down, he believed that Lin thought so too. Secure as he was in his choice he feared that his willpower would break like a dam when he laid eyes on her again. She was beautiful and witty, they had a history and he was so comfortable with her, but none of those things were reason enough to stay. They wanted different things out of life- it should be simple, but it wasn't.

The three children of the avatar filed out of their mothers home in silence, except for Bumi who couldn't resist commenting, "You're an idiot, T."

Just minutes later, Tenzin was struck with the odd feeling that he should knock on his own door when he faced it. His momentary pause gave Kya a chance to thrust ahead, opening the door boldly. He stepped in front of her, asking in a low voice if he could be allowed a moment alone with Lin. Kya sighed and digressed, stepping back out the door where Bumi waited. Closing the door, Tenzin inhaled deeply in preparation for their encounter and was a bit surprised when he opened his eyes to find Lin's old partner Ki, heading toward him from the bedroom with a box in his arms.

"Oh. Hey Tenzin," Ki greeted him awkwardly. Lin appeared behind him almost immediately. She looked past her friend and into Tenzin's eyes. The static between them practically crackled.

"I'm sorry, Ki. Do you mind if I speak with Lin alone?" Tenzin asked diplomatically. Ki gave a nod and began lowering his cargo to the floor when Lin's voice stopped him.

"You don't have to go, Ki. We have nothing to talk about," she stated evenly. Ki's eyes darted between the two as if watching a ball being volleyed to and fro. Slowly, he lowered the box to the ground.

"I'm just going to wait outside," he insisted slipping past Tenzin to exit. When the door closed Lin rolled her eyes and moved forward to gather the box herself.

"Can we talk for a moment?" Tenzin asked.

"No."

"Lin, really. Put the box down for a second."

"I said no, Tenzin. You said more than enough last night, I think," she replied, hoisting the box marked "bedroom" into her arms. "Anyway, shouldn't you be helping your girlfriend study for finals or something?" she quipped bitterly attempting to pass him. He reached out and gripped her arm, causing the box to crash to floor with a loud shattering sound. They looked at one another for a long moment, both knowing it was the glass heart he'd lovingly crafted from sand in days when their love was innocent and untouchable. Swallowing, Tenzin released his grip on her.

Lin blinked back the stinging in her eyes and crouched down to gather the box again, while Tenzin stood by lamely, finding himself at a loss for words.

"Guess I don't need it anyway," she muttered under her breath as she passed him and made her way out the door.

The day continued on, the heaviness of the mover's task putting a damper on conversation. Bumi tried to crack a joke occasionally, but nobody felt much like laughing. Tenzin had been banished from proceedings after asking Lin if she would like some of the acolytes to help. Lin nearly killed him from her look alone and told him thickly that she didn't want "those people" laying a finger on her belongings. She further illustrated her point by kicking up a wall of earth directly before him, nearly scraping his nose.

Bumi dug through a box of photos and memory books, flipping through them whimsically.

"Spirits, this was the best week of my life," he commented holding up the framed photo of all four of them linked together. "Greatest. Music Festival. Ever. You gotta keep some of these, Lin." Bumi finished holding out the pictures for her inspection. She shrugged.

"You can have them."

Ki appeared next to her, a handful of metal cable in his arms. "I think this is it," he sighed. Lin nodded.

"Thanks for helping me clear this place out," she sighed. Plenty of boxes remained, some with half the contents removed and stacks of random items dotting the various rooms. They were all exclusively his possessions now. Lin relinquished her claim to these things and the rooms containing them as she stepped out the door. She worried she would be giving up more than the inanimate as she looked sadly at both Kya and Bumi.

Katara appeared behind them, slowly making her way down the hill. Lin had been dreading this moment. Her relationship with Katara was a different type than she had with most. In the absence of her own mother, Katara filled the role of caretaker and matriarch. Lin worried just looking into Katara's eyes might break her.

"Why don't you all go on down to the dock and give us a minute," Katara suggested with a smile. Kya, Bumi, and Ki all departed on her advice telling Lin they'd be waiting for her at the bottom of the hill.

Lin stood before her second mother, willing herself to maintain her composure. She still hadn't cried and she'd be damned if it would happen now when she was so close to being able to pass out in her bed having won this one battle.

"You haven't slept," Katara observed. Lin looked away, finding even those simple words caused a lump to rise in her throat.

"I'm sorry I won't be able to help with your move," Lin said after a moment. Katara let out a small laugh.

"Oh honey, I don't care about that. I just came down to remind you about something before you go," she smiled. Lin continued to look vaguely past her. "Lin, look at me please."

She relented, biting her quivering lip as she met Katara's gaze. Reaching up, Katara took her face into her hands for emphasis.

"No matter what happens, or doesn't happen- you are always family. You understand me?" She said seriously. Lin looked skyward and nodded in a final attempt to control her tears.

"Okay."

"I mean that. I love you like one of my own, Lin. Regardless of who you are with," she reiterated. Lin nodded again, feeling a few tears slip out. "Come here," Katara instructed drawing her into a hug. Lin let out a quiet sob into her shoulder and felt the tension in her body drain.

"Thank you," she managed to reply, muffled against Katara's shoulder. The only mother she had left held her, making slow, comforting movements down her back in the stillness of the island air.

* * *

Tenzin breathed in, then out slowly through the nose. Meditating was meant to help, but all he could focus on was the fact that this action had put him in this awful position to begin with. He faced the sea and opening his eyes, caught a glimpse of the departing ferry boat. He watched sadly as it moved ever closer to the mainland with the majority of his life as its passenger. How hard it is to fall in love before knowing what you want out of life he mused. With a defeated sigh he stretched out on his back and closed his eyes, letting his mind drift where it pleased.

_"Oh please, you can't be serious," she laughed with an eye roll that told him she hoped he was._

_"I mean it. I will love you my whole life, Lin Beifong."_


	5. Epilogue

The soft knock on the door surprised her. Standing barefoot on the stone flooring of her kitchen over a kettle full of tepid water, she heard it before she felt it. There had only ever been two people able to take Lin Beifong by surprise in this way. Her throat tightened and she broke out into a clammy, feverish sweat instantly. It had been eight months since they'd split up, eight months since they'd last had a real conversation. Eight months was like a drop in the sea of their relationship of over twenty years, but somehow those months seemed to last longer. She'd had to talk to him once in that time, forced to face him along with the rest of the council because of her position as Chief of Police. They met to discuss an action plan for quelling the riots that threatened the stability of the Dragon Flats borough. It was all business. They exchanged pleasantries as if they were business cards, distant and formal. An uninformed observer would have no idea that just weeks before, they'd been tangled together in a bed they had shared for years. She recalled coming home that evening to her mother's empty house and repeating her words to him in whisper. She called him Councilmen Tenzin. The formality felt awkward and bitter on her tongue. It was as if she had been addressing a stranger- and in a way, she had been. Finally alone in her home, she allowed herself to mourn what they had been. Mourn the loss of her closest relationship. Mourn the trivial things like nicknames and inside jokes. She didn't remember falling asleep, but it happened at some point among a fit of sobs that night.

The soft knock came a second time and Lin considered pretending as if she weren't home. She wasn't sure that she could contain herself if he were at such close range again. She hated herself for thinking that maybe she could sweep this whole awful situation under the carpet and take him back. There was an overwhelming urge to open the door and fly at him with her entire being, clinging and begging for things to be the way they were before. She didn't trust that she could maintain her composure when she would have to look into those blue eyes she'd known so well, the ones that knew her so well. Her heart was pounding. What if he had come over here with the same desire? He had gone to the other side and discovered the grass is not really greener, just younger and more naive. Perhaps he wanted to forget his mistake and cling and beg for things to be as they once were as well. Lin ticked her head once as if shaking apart a daydream. Even if he made his way to her home with the intention of rekindling the happiness that they used to know, she knew it could never be the same. He hurt her too badly. It had been a betrayal on a scale Lin had never experienced, from the last person she would have expected. Nothing could change what had happened, no matter how badly they might both want it. Bracing herself, she opened the door to face him. Annoyingly, the urge to lunge at him did not abate.

He stood before her, tall and serious. His eyes vaguely wet and his expression worried. Through the floor, she could feel his heart drumming at a rapid pace reminiscent of the baby they almost shared. The one who might have changed everything.

He greeted her gravely, "Lin."

At least he hadn't called her Chief Beifong. His demeanor worried her, he was certainly not here to beg her forgiveness as she'd fantasized, but to deliver news of a nature that required a personal touch. Her first thought was for Katara. The matriarch wasn't frail by any means, but she was not exempt from the effects of aging- perhaps the climate of the southern water tribe proved to be too much for her at this age. Lin wondered how she could survive another loss. Swallowing hard, she opened the door further and gestured for him to come inside. He stepped in far enough for her to close the door, but no further. He drew his cloak in so it would not be trapped in the door and Lin caught his familiar scent drifting alongside. She didn't realize she'd been missing it until just now. They met eyes and stared for a moment, their close proximity felt strange for both after such a long separation.

"You look nice," he offered. This kind of flippant greeting ruled out death as the reason for his journey here tonight. Lin's right arm went rigid and she reminded herself not to slap him across the face.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded with a sigh. She felt angry with him for being here, standing in front of her, for not begging. She felt angry with herself for hoping that he would. When a breeze from nowhere ruffled her hair lightly, she didn't flinch. It was something that always happened when Tenzin was nervous. He cleared his throat.

"I wanted to tell you something. I don't want you finding out by reading it or some other way, I wanted to be the one to tell you. I don't think it would be right for you to-"

"Spit it out, will you?" Lin snapped, annoyed. He looked away when he spoke.

"Pema and I are getting married."

His words slammed against her chest like great weights at high speed. Her eyes stung and if she'd ever had the wherewithal to contain herself, it was lost to her now. Tears pooled on her lower eyelids, threatening to fall. She bit her lip to stop herself, copper flavored blood spreading across her tongue. She had to blink, but knew that it would set her tears free so she resisted another few seconds as the world around her blurred like rain against a window. Finally, she relented and the waves of sorrow rushed over her cheeks as she drew a breath, stopping it short of a whimper. All pride had gone the way of their relationship and she wept freely before him.

Tenzin stood beside her awkwardly. He'd come as the betrayer but wanted to offer his comfort in the wake of his own making. Knowing anything he had to say would be pointless, he quietly waited for her to say something- even if it was a dismissal- but she appeared to be investing all her energy in remaining upright at the moment.

"Lin..." he lead sympathetically.

"I haven't even finished unpacking," Lin observed weakly, watery eyes drifting down the hallway at half-full boxes still bearing both their names. If it had been a lighter moment, this observation might have made Tenzin smile. Eight months on and boxes were still being unpacked only as needed- it was just so classically Lin.

"I understand if you don't want to go, but the invitation is open," he continued causing Lin to let out a grunt somewhere between a laugh and a sob.

"Are you kidding me?" Lin scoffed angrily. "Do you actually hear what is coming out of your mouth, Tenzin? No. No, I would _not_ like to go to your wedding to someone else." The reiteration of 'someone else' was like a punch she had been expecting- she knew it was coming, but it still hurt. She leaned against the wall and pressed a hand to her wet eyes, face screwing up in anguish. Tenzin reached out to her as if it were the most natural thing in the world and she batted his hand away. She wanted to rage at him, to scream and shove and bend the the earth around him until it pulled him under never to be heard from again. It was the worst pain she'd ever felt. Worse even than the death of her mother. In death there is closure and finality, in her break up with Tenzin there would be no release. Tenzin and his future wife would continue to exist in her life happy and content, while Lin would be dragging around the corpse of their relationship for years to come. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair for her to question every moment they shared. Did she really mean so little to him? Had he ever meant the loving things he once whispered across her pillow, across her skin? Had even thought about her in these past months or had he been too busy falling in love, for keeps this time? All these doubts swarmed her like insects and looking through the haze she could make him out again, hovering awkwardly- out of place in this house that was only hers.

"I'm sorry, Lin. I didn't mean for things to happen this way."

"Just go. Please."

He paused and looked into her eyes, guilt painted across his features. The kettle whistled from the kitchen and both their heads snapped up at the sudden noise.

"Your tea is ready," Tenzin stated lamely. Lin nodded with a sniffle.

"I'm trying to be nice, Tenzin. Please. Go."

He nodded once and turned to leave with a moment of hesitation. It felt strange even now that he had come to love another, to part without giving her a kiss. He leaned in, lightly brushing his lips against her damp cheek like a Judas. Gathering his robes and opening the door he took one last longing look at her, his best friend since childhood, and knew this could very well be goodbye.

"Goodbye, Lin," he said sadly.

Lin's eyes glistened as she gave him a curt shake of her head and closed the door swiftly. She leaned against it a moment listening to the kettle wail.

Making her way to the kitchen, she removed the kettle from the fire and poured the boiling water down the drain, having lost her desire for tea. In a daze, she made her way to the master bedroom, curling herself up on the bed that once belonged to her mother. She wondered what her mother would say if she were here. Surely, the legendary Toph Beifong would be of the mind that Lin shouldn't waste her time worrying about someone so stupid that they would give her up. Lin knew that mentality was inside her as well- she was the daughter of Toph Beifong, she was the Chief of Police, she was brave, she was skilled, she was Lin. But tonight at the root of her, the only appropriate description was that of a girl with a broken heart. She recalled reading somewhere that the final stage of mourning was acceptance. Closing her eyes, she wondered how far down the path that stage would be for her as she cried herself to sleep.


End file.
